I snuck away today to the YMCA and took a few steps on the treadmill. Plugging my headphones into my ears, I could quickly tune out my surroundings. For me, putting one foot in front of the other in an effort to get my heart pumping while listening to my current favorite tunes, has a way of bringing clarity to my thoughts. Seems strange to be short of breath and finally be able to think clearly, but that's just how I work.
I've been reflecting more on creating rhythms in my life that reflect the life I really want to live. I am currently reading Rebekah Lyons' book, Rhythms of Renewal and have been really challenged to take inventory of my life and how I am spending this one life I've been given. It's been really good. BUT, through this I have been wrestling with this idea of my "why and how." What is the purpose of reflecting on how my time is best spent and how can I make that happen today and tomorrow and the next?
The biggest struggle for me is: how does that look today and how do I balance it all just right? How can I daily prioritize and make all the right choices with how I manage my time here on this earth. So many things......I need to set aside time daily to spend time with Jesus (in His word, in prayer, in being still before Him), I also need to create a healthy rhythm of daily exercise, and be present for my kids, be the best wife to Dan, be active in our local church, develop meaningful friendships, make time for restoration and rest, be the best for my students and families at school, be a good leader and a good learner in my work place, love my family well, make healthy meals....whewww.....the list goes on. Now, I know this time of reflection was not meant to overwhelm. BUT, I am somewhat of a perfectionist and when I've recognized changes that need to happen, I want it to happen now...like all of them....all at once. HA! I would like to do better in 50 different areas and not just better, but I want it to be perfect.
But today while beating my feet on the rubber of that treadmill, I heard these words loud and clear.
Just be faithful, Derrica. I'm not asking you to be perfect. Just. Be. Faithful.
So in true Derrica fashion...I've been chewing on those words since. What does it mean to be faithful? What does the Bible have to say about faithfulness? The definition of faithful: loyal, constant, steadfast. And what does that mean to be steadfast? The definition of steadfast: resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering, steady.
Lamentations 3:22-23 reads "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." So if God is faithful and steadfast and His mercies for me are new every single morning, what does that mean for me? He is doing a work in me and through me daily, every single day. He isn't keeping a record of all things done well or of my short comings and then deciding how much love I deserve for the day. He is providing mercy and love because He is faithful, not because of anything I do. It is His character to be faithful. It's who He is. Faithful meaning; He shows up, relentlessly in my day to day. He shows up for me daily despite my failures or all the righteousness I try to muster up myself. He shows up no matter what the circumstances, good or bad.
So if my focus should be on being faithful in my living, how can I reflect that kind of faithfulness in each day? How does that REALLY look lived out.
Funny, the more I thought about this, the more I realized perhaps He's been teaching me that this week. The past three days have been a blur of all that the dreadful stomach virus brings to one's home. All the bodily fluids imaginable, the cleaning, writing the sub plans, lack of sleep, more cleaning, and so on. So what does it look like to live faithful in this? I'm learning. Faithful is putting both feet quickly to the ground at the sound of "Mom!" and making a quick run to the bathroom, bowl in hand for the 10th time in one night. Being faithful is showing up for my family, cleaning bathrooms to keep germs from spreading despite the fact that my eyes haven't seen a full hour of sleep in several days. This isn't perfect. It's not pretty. It's not Instagam worthy. But I'm wondering if this is more of what it means to live faithful not perfect. What if I woke each day seeking to be faithful in my devotion time, faithful in showing love to my husband and my kids, faithful in my workplace, faithful in all that I do? And what if I gave myself grace(because He does) when I fall short and then allow myself to start new every morning?
My prayer is that He continues to teach me about His faithfulness and helps me to live a life that is faithful, not perfect. We are all a work in progress, myself included. Philippians 1:6 says "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."
In a world that preaches self perfection as the goal and purpose for reflecting on the life we are living, I think He invites us to reflect with a different purpose. It's not just about doing more or making another to-do list in life to remind us of where we fall short, but it's more of an invitation to live each day with faithful purpose even in the messy and difficult circumstances of life. How can I become more faithful in my living until one day, His master said to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master." Matthew 25:21 ESV
I've been reflecting more on creating rhythms in my life that reflect the life I really want to live. I am currently reading Rebekah Lyons' book, Rhythms of Renewal and have been really challenged to take inventory of my life and how I am spending this one life I've been given. It's been really good. BUT, through this I have been wrestling with this idea of my "why and how." What is the purpose of reflecting on how my time is best spent and how can I make that happen today and tomorrow and the next?
The biggest struggle for me is: how does that look today and how do I balance it all just right? How can I daily prioritize and make all the right choices with how I manage my time here on this earth. So many things......I need to set aside time daily to spend time with Jesus (in His word, in prayer, in being still before Him), I also need to create a healthy rhythm of daily exercise, and be present for my kids, be the best wife to Dan, be active in our local church, develop meaningful friendships, make time for restoration and rest, be the best for my students and families at school, be a good leader and a good learner in my work place, love my family well, make healthy meals....whewww.....the list goes on. Now, I know this time of reflection was not meant to overwhelm. BUT, I am somewhat of a perfectionist and when I've recognized changes that need to happen, I want it to happen now...like all of them....all at once. HA! I would like to do better in 50 different areas and not just better, but I want it to be perfect.
But today while beating my feet on the rubber of that treadmill, I heard these words loud and clear.
Just be faithful, Derrica. I'm not asking you to be perfect. Just. Be. Faithful.
So in true Derrica fashion...I've been chewing on those words since. What does it mean to be faithful? What does the Bible have to say about faithfulness? The definition of faithful: loyal, constant, steadfast. And what does that mean to be steadfast? The definition of steadfast: resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering, steady.
Lamentations 3:22-23 reads "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." So if God is faithful and steadfast and His mercies for me are new every single morning, what does that mean for me? He is doing a work in me and through me daily, every single day. He isn't keeping a record of all things done well or of my short comings and then deciding how much love I deserve for the day. He is providing mercy and love because He is faithful, not because of anything I do. It is His character to be faithful. It's who He is. Faithful meaning; He shows up, relentlessly in my day to day. He shows up for me daily despite my failures or all the righteousness I try to muster up myself. He shows up no matter what the circumstances, good or bad.
So if my focus should be on being faithful in my living, how can I reflect that kind of faithfulness in each day? How does that REALLY look lived out.
Funny, the more I thought about this, the more I realized perhaps He's been teaching me that this week. The past three days have been a blur of all that the dreadful stomach virus brings to one's home. All the bodily fluids imaginable, the cleaning, writing the sub plans, lack of sleep, more cleaning, and so on. So what does it look like to live faithful in this? I'm learning. Faithful is putting both feet quickly to the ground at the sound of "Mom!" and making a quick run to the bathroom, bowl in hand for the 10th time in one night. Being faithful is showing up for my family, cleaning bathrooms to keep germs from spreading despite the fact that my eyes haven't seen a full hour of sleep in several days. This isn't perfect. It's not pretty. It's not Instagam worthy. But I'm wondering if this is more of what it means to live faithful not perfect. What if I woke each day seeking to be faithful in my devotion time, faithful in showing love to my husband and my kids, faithful in my workplace, faithful in all that I do? And what if I gave myself grace(because He does) when I fall short and then allow myself to start new every morning?
My prayer is that He continues to teach me about His faithfulness and helps me to live a life that is faithful, not perfect. We are all a work in progress, myself included. Philippians 1:6 says "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."
In a world that preaches self perfection as the goal and purpose for reflecting on the life we are living, I think He invites us to reflect with a different purpose. It's not just about doing more or making another to-do list in life to remind us of where we fall short, but it's more of an invitation to live each day with faithful purpose even in the messy and difficult circumstances of life. How can I become more faithful in my living until one day, His master said to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master." Matthew 25:21 ESV
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