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The battlefield under my feet.

That which seems evil, is it a cloud to bring rain, to bring a greater good to the whole of the world?  Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perseverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over a life?  I dare flip the cue card over and I make out the words on the backside, "See now that I, I am He, and there is no god besides Me; It is I who put to death and give life.  I have wounded and it is I who heal" Deuteronomy 32:39.  I nod.  I know. I know. And these truth words reconfigure the battlefield under my feet.
---From the Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts

I love this quote from Ann Voskamp.  She has a way with making sense of difficult circumstances and pointing us back to scripture to ground our thoughts and feelings.  Never in my life have I experienced so many hard goodbyes in just one year.  And never have I heard the words so often, "I'm so sorry for your loss."  Never have I wondered more...why God? Why this season of suffering and loss? In a quiet moment on this quiet afternoon, I am given the gift of time...the time to reflect and time to listen to the God that continues to hold this messy life together.   And He reminded me of this quote I had underlined some time ago during a group study.

Through this season in my life, God has brought so many things into light that I know I would have missed or neglected if these clouds, these shadows hadn't fallen.

 Time is precious.  Psalm 39: "LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered--how fleeting my life is."  Lately, I've found myself taking this precious time to talk a little longer with friends, forgive a little easier,  hug a little tighter....take a few more pictures...and laugh a little louder.  Knowing full well how numbered our minutes are with our loved ones and how limited our time is here to make a difference and leave a legacy when we go.  

 And death does not win.  God has made a way through Jesus and love wins.   Hope wins.  Always.  Our time with each other may be interrupted...but the reward we have when it is finished, is far greater than our best moments here.
Some time ago, I snapped this picture of my friend's shoes.  I was taking a picture on my phone in hopes of finding a pair of shoes just like these for her.  She LOVED these worn out slip on shoes...and I was just sure I could find a new pair so she could retire her old ones.  Little did I know how much comfort and understanding this picture would bring me in the year to come.
Every time I see this picture I think of her, of course and the legacy of love she left behind for those that loved her.  But, I also think of the walk I am taking through this world.  I don't have it all together...I don't always walk with as much grace as I should....I get frustrated when life doesn't go the way I had planned.  There has been many rain clouds, shadows that have come that have worn me down, just like these shoes.  But as my dear friend experienced and we all experience in some way, it all works together for my good.  We are going to know the greater graces of comfort and perseverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage.   Like the quote mentioned, there is a battlefield under our feet, but God provides all of these greater graces to grow us and show us more of who He is....and help us better love those around us.  

---Grace and love to you dear friends as you walk the battlefield.

Comments

  1. UnknownMay 3, 2015 at 7:13 PM

    Lovely, Derrica.
    I'm glad you got a little downtime in this whirlwind of life to pause, reflect, and share. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete

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