Just Us

Please just don't be silent. Say something. This message on repeat over and over again in my mind. But caution. Be ever so careful about the words you say. Words hold power. They can light a fire. Or put one out. I'm a white girl who is learning to shut up. Shutting up enough to listen to my brothers and sisters of color. Dear image bearers of the very same God I serve. They are clearly not okay. Years of pain and suffering has brought us here. Many now being filmed for the world to see, Adding salt on open wounds. But I'm living in safe space. What can I possibly add to the conversation I don't live in fear because of the color of my skin Or the shiny badge that I wear. I'm privileged that my son's motives will never be questioned just because of his color. But also I don't shoulder the burden of sending my husband out the door in uniform Praying he returns home to be a dad. Maybe I should just listen and not respond, Careful not to make an enemy. Lots of d...

Is there anyone else out there right now that kinda feels like you and your emotions have stepped onto a rollercoaster without a definite end in sight?   We started this ride together with the whole wide world as fellow passengers.  We began full of uncertainty and inexperience of what this ride might entail and where it would take us.  It's as if we started the first climb of the biggest hill of anticipation in March and now in May we are a little frazzled, disoriented and wondering what is to come after the current hill we are climbing.  Our emotions can take us on some wild rides like this and really threatened to suck the joy from our lives when we ride them up and down....up and down....up and down. Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. This past week I feel like so much of social media has been adding to this up and down...up and down.  One day you read an article that ...

A name. Have you read of that woman Strong shoulders hunched over with the weight of the grief she carries. Her tears, long steady streams Reach the puddles at her dusty feet. She stands frozen outside the tomb. I wonder about her thoughts How did she spend those three days before standing in that holy place? Had her days turned into nights Only marked by the light and the darkness returning. Did she question, Did the fear tighten in her chest? Were her eyes swollen and tender for the billion tears she had cried. Yet she walked to the tomb that holy day One foot in front of the other And again, She wept. He was gone. Two angels in white ask, Why the tears woman? Who are you looking for? Not recognizing His voice at first She pleas to be told where He has gone "I will get him" she says "Tell me where" Mary. One name and it is hers. Spoken by the one she is looking for And she knows She is known. Desperately grasping, she tries to h...

It’s late Monday night. I’ve tossed and turned and cannot seem to slow the pace of my mind enough to drift off to sleep.   This is so not like me.  I’m usually in bed by 9:30 most nights, as soon as my head hits the pillow after a full day of teaching. So much of this life as a teacher is nothing like it was 3 weeks ago.  Wow...3 weeks, has it really been three weeks already?!! Crazy, it was really just three weeks ago that I lie awake, my chest tight with worry and guilt about how rushed the day seemed with my kindergarteners.  My last day with my students before our school shut their doors was sadly a scattered mess of paper packets and a mad rush to load bookmarks and logins to student chromebooks. I sent those little 5 and 6 year olds out the door with a weighted down backpack and more questions than answers, fighting back tears of my own. “When will we be back Mrs. Hutchings? Why are you sending these workbooks home today? We still have so many pages left to...

Dear elected state official, I am writing to you on Sunday morning March 15th in a quiet house with sleeping 8 year old twins and a husband quietly scrolling through the news to get the latest update on how COVID-19 is impacting Iowa.  Since the elders of our church have been so careful to cancel our regular service today, I have plenty of time to sit here and share my thoughts with you. I am a kindergarten teacher in the state of Iowa.  I work for a large, amazing school district who works diligently to ensure students are provided all the tools essential in their success as an individual.  Beginning last week, our superintendent has been communicating clearly about the possibility of this virus impacting how we do school in the days/weeks ahead.  Within two days, my wonderful kindergarten team of professionals have developed tools and creative ways to continue learning for all students should the need arise to close schools.  Our district is also brainst...

I snuck away today to the YMCA and took a few steps on the treadmill.  Plugging my headphones into my ears, I could quickly tune out my surroundings.  For me, putting one foot in front of the other in an effort to get my heart pumping while listening to my current favorite tunes, has a way of bringing clarity to my thoughts.  Seems strange to be short of breath and finally be able to think clearly, but that's just how I work. I've been reflecting more on creating rhythms in my life that reflect the life I really want to live.  I am currently reading Rebekah Lyons' book, Rhythms of Renewal and have been really challenged to take inventory of my life and how I am spending this one life I've been given.  It's been really good.  BUT,  through this I have been wrestling with this idea of my "why and how."  What is the purpose of reflecting on how my time is best spent and how can I make that happen today and tomorrow and the next? The biggest strug...

The fire flickers calling me to sit, be still Coffee cool from being set aside While I attend to the morning bustle. One lukewarm sip brings perspective My own heart’s condition. Another year has floated by. Joys, sorrows, celebrations and failures. Piled once again on top of one another Creating a mound of memories  Hard to separate  So my human self lumps it all into one. 2019. Looking back to look forward What to change And which parts shall remain the same. I swish my coffee just to watch it swirl But what if His call Isn’t just for change,  But a plea to just be still Still enough to listen  Still enough to hear Still enough not to waste yet another year.